How to get ahead with advertisers – erm..perhaps not!

I’ve seen many strategies to woo advertisers over the years but this novel insult-them-and-they-will-come approach is a new one to me!

Posted here thanks to new Manchester start-up Hive which sent this flyer out earlier this afternoon. (While naked too if the last sentence is to be believed, they really know how to do things differently).

Good luck guys! I look forward to seeing how many “shitty ugly ads” result.

“So what’s the crack? When is this magazine going to print? What’s taking us so long?

Well, have a guess… (as if you didn’t already know). As with many magazines our sole means of funding is advertising revenue, but with current financial climate the way it is (particularly for the small local businesses that we have been targeting) the only advertising contracts we’ve managed to draw up to date have been verbal contracts of the “maybe later” variety. (This from over 400 emails and around 60 face-to-face meetings!!!)

Two things we wanted for Hive to separate it from all the other generic Manchester magazines were a massive level of distribution, expensive flashy printing techniques and NO PROPERTY ADVERTS. These were completely non-negotiable terms which had to be adhered to come rain or shine. Well, rain or shine we were prepared for. What we weren’t prepared for was clouds of eggy fart pissing big fat ambition killing turds down on us.

It’s time to face reality and realise that, for now at least, Hive magazine is going to have to drop all it’s grandiose plans and play the hand it’s been dealt. Unfortunately this means a significantly lower print run, less aesthetic acrobatics and (worst of all) having to go crawling back to the property agencies with our tail between our legs asking for their stupid ugly adverts.

As shitty as this is we’ve had too much interest in this project to admit defeat. And the quality of some of the articles that have been submitted to us have been so good it probably won’t even matter what adverts they’re sat next to, people should still enjoy the magazine regardless. In short, your articles WILL be used, they ARE going to print and it will be SOON. Please bare with us.”